Buttercup gets an A, Blossom gets a F
by Caeruleus Flamma
Summary: Pg 13 for my paranoia. Buttercup goes over the limit and gets sent to military school and Blossom outdos herself and gets sent to a fancy private school. Buttercup excells in this new military stle and Blossom flops. Chapter 3 up.
1. Default Chapter

Buttercup gets an A, Blossom gets a F

This is a comic piece I'm writing up to fill the interim between the time when I start another serious piece. Idea comes from the Simpson's

Buttercup snickered to herself as she filled a bucket full of paste, and then stuck it above the door. It is an old cliché, sure, but with her, the victim will find the bucket stuck to her head after it had fallen down. She was sure Ms. Keane wouldn't mind. After all it was all in good fun, and it may even make her forget the test they were supposed to have today.

Blossom huddled in the corner, memorising as much of the dictionary as possible. They were to have a test today and, although she had already learnt everything on the syllabus, she always believed in being prepared. Blossom muttered angrily to herself as she was shaken out of her fervent studying by Buttercups raucous laughter. Doesn't she care about the test? Ignoring Buttercups merry-making, she continued memorizing arcane alternatives for "sky". 

As Miss Keane walked into the room, several things happened simultaneously. Blossom looked up from her books, face brimming with self-confidence, Bubbles and the rest of the class sans Buttercup stopped their impromptu game of football and flicked their books open with a precision born of years at school, and Buttercup tried to look inconspicuous as a bucket fell on Miss Keanes head. Miss Keane threw the test papers in the air, showering them above the heads of the surprised class, then started screaming and ran into the sink. The next thing they knew, the room was flooded with water, the walls were beginning to crack and everyone was screaming about being drowned as pages asking for the details of the Russian Revolution floated around the room, bringing their own chaotic revolts. 

Ten minutes later paramedics had managed to pull the bucket off Miss Keanes head, and the playground had been turned into a muddy mess of murk. As Buttercup stood in front of the school and the roof fell in on itself, and she smiled at the angry mud covered group.

"Umm, hi"

The Professor slowly squeezed the end of a pipette as he dripped acid into a test-tube. Suddenly he heard the phone ring. Startled by the sudden sound he nearly missed but, luckily, the drop found it's way into the test-tube. Sighing with relief he screwed up the bottle of sulphuric acid, held it tightly in his hands and picked up the phone.

He heard the Principal of the Girls school on the other end.

"Mr. Utonium, this it the Principal Vogt, I have some good news and Bad news for you."

The Professor looked at his experiment then gave an optimistic smile. This phone call had nearly ruined a week's labour. It can't be that bad. Buttercup probably has detention and he will have to go and pick her up. He heard a lot of noise in the background.

"Where are you? Is your office that loud?"

"I don't have an office anymore, you Daughter, Blossom destroyed it. She has been expelled"

The Professor gave a sudden gasp of shock, dropping the canister of sulphuric acid into his lap. Giving a gasp of pain he let a barely audible whisper into the phone.

"Blossom did that…"

The Principal gave a short pause as he rifled through the pages. 

"No, my mistake, it was Buttercup. Stupid construction vehicles are giving me a headache. Don't worry I know a very good military skill."

The Professor gave a small growl. Man, that girl was going to get in so much trouble when she got home.

"Oh, and Mr. Utonium, on a lighter note, Blossom just got an invitation to attend one of the most prestigious private schools in the country, she has even been raised a year at that school. Even though that means us losing our top student, I recommend it. It will greatly improve her future."

With that last message, the principal hang off. Leaving the Professor along with his pain.

Well, this is just the introduction. I guess, with my obvious story lines, you can guess pretty quickly what'll go on.


	2. Into heaven, into hell, rather, just hel...

Dooly: Actually, I forgot to mention this. I'm placing their ages at thirteen years old. Easier for me to relate to J. 

Hairy Gregory: Yeah, you're right.

I broke the door at school once, while playing football in the classroom. Luckily no one ever found out that it was slightly lopsided and the crack in front of it (we covered it up with posters).

Tonifranz: Hairy Gregory answered everything.

I don't know much about military schools, or public schools, so don't take any facts about those to be fact. The private school details are only relevant to my school. The people in the individual schools are all imaginary, and please don't accept my portrayal of a private school as reality. I don't know a single person that is snobby like that but, for the purposes of the story, they are.

Sorry about the massive amount of notes, but this should save some explaining and argument later on.

Everyone, thanks for the reviews, they really make writing a lot easier, especially when I have a Math, physics, German, history, chemistry and French test next week. Good thing is, right after that, I get to go mountain climbing for a week in Malaysia. The bad thing is, it entails waking up at three o clock to see the sunriseL. Ooh, I really like the automatic smiley thin in word. LJJLJJJJLLLLL. Heh,heh heh. Not sure if it will come out on the web. L

Buttercup shifted nervously in her seat as the car rolled through imposing wrought steel gates guarded by two dubious looking guards. In the distance, she could see a large brawny drill sergeant shouting orders at a bunch of exhausted looking boys. She pulled at the uncomfortable uniform and resumed her incessant pleas with the Professor.

"Please, Professor. I don't wanna come here. I promise I'll be good…for a while…"

The Professor simply adopted a fatherly look and reassured her.

"Now, now, Buttercup. Don't be silly. I'm sure you'll be alright. Look how much fun your new friends are having"

Buttercup looked out of the window to see a group of people sobbing as they clambered through a large pool of mud and then through large bushes of thistles, all the while being yelled at. Buttercup immediately hung on to the Professors arm, refusing to let go. The Professor shrugged her off, then opened the door and shoved her out. A stout military man walked up to the car.

"Ah, Professor Utonium. I see we have a new cadet for us to work with"

"Yes, this is Buttercup. I've sent the antidote X by mail"

Buttercup resumed her hysterics.

"What, antidote X. Why do they need that!"

"Now, they don't want you to have any unfair advantages. Don't worry, this is a very nice place"

Buttercup resigned herself, then sat down.

"Well, I agree. This place can't be all that bad, right…"

Buttercup looked over and saw her suitcase being thrown at her, then saw the Professors car speeding towards the gates as fast as possible. Buttercup sighed again, then lay on her back for a moment before she was rudely kicked by the colonel, then had antidote x forced down her throat. She dragged her suitcase behind her as she walked towards the tiny speck in the horizon that was her place. Cursing resentfully to herself. How could she have known her luggage was that heavy. That punching bag had seemed perfectly light a few hours ago. Gritting her teeth, she continued the long trek.

The Professor sped out of the gates, then sighed with relief.

"Man, that place was scary. Did you see what they made the kids do"

Blossom placed her hand on the Professors arm and spoke with a reprimanding tone.

"Professor, that wasn't very nice to poor Buttercup. And you're going way too fast. We must be approaching a hundred"

The Professor pressed on the brake in response, but, for some strange reason, the brake didn't seem to be slowing down. A moment later, he knew why, they were flying off the road. A moment later, they were back on the road again. Blossom looked flew out of the car and looked at it. The front was almost completely wrecked, and covered with mud. Also, the windscreen was cracked and the airbags weren't a nice touch. The professor struggled free from the airbags which had nearly suffocated him, then beckoned Blossom back into the car, as he revved it up again. He tensed up, and placed hid hand on the handle, then relaxed as it successfully started. He smiled at Blossom, then said.

"Ah, the old bugger still works. Well, I'll take you to school now"

Blossom, looked out of the window nervously, at the long line of Rolls Royce's, Mercedes Benzes, and Jaguars, with bodyguards lining the entrances. She then averted her gaze to her own car, crumpled boot, splattered with mud. She cleared her throat and tugged on the Professors arm.

"Umm, Professor, can you just drop me off here"

The Professor smiled back.

"Of course, not, honey. I'll be sure to see you off safely on your first day of school"

"But…"

Blossom felt herself going red as she felt the chauffeurs gaze fall on her car, as they gripped onto their wooden steering handles, as though afraid it was a contagious disease.

Groaning to herself, Blossom got off the car, with an embarrassing kiss good bye from the Professor. Well, at least, I'm sure the kids here won't ostracize me for my background, right. And for the first of many times thereafter, Blossom was wrong.

The Professor rolled back into the driveway, sighing to himself. He opted to forgo a night of experiments to go scouting for a new car. He felt quite satisfied now. Everything was perfect. Blossom was going to a school to suit her abilities, Buttercup was getting much needed discipline, and he had an excuse to get a new car. Oh yeah, he was on top of the world. AS he walked through the door, he noticed a small, indescriptic envelope on the floor. He picked it up and found it to be from Blossom's new school. He wondered what it could be, then, couldn't be bothered to look at it just yet, and went to pour himself a cup of coffee. He finally looked at the letter. It seemed to be a bill from Blossoms new school. As his eyes trailed down to the figures, they widened and he started choking on the coffee. After the violent coughing fit, he recounted the number of zeroes, then simply fainted on the floor.

Well, the main bits about Buttercup, and Blossom have not started yet, but a small sub plot  I have planned regarding Professor with monetary problems has. I'll probably also have a subplot regarding Bubbles, just as a control to contrast Buttercup and Blossom.

Please review.


End file.
